The wolf pack gathered. The time had come that all had been waiting for. A moment ordained. A moment which did not mark an ending but rather a transition. The time of being a wolf cub had come to an end. He had become a young wolf. Each of the elder wolves had been the wolf cub and later the young wolf themselves. They knew what lay before him. They knew that for the young wolf to take his rightful place this moment was needed. This moment was ordained. It was time for him to leave the safety and familiarity of the pack to walk with the Great Lion. The savage who had sought out and found each of the founding wolves and joined them together into the pack. And so, the pack came together and celebrated the wolf cub that had been and the wolf that was to be. The next morning, the pack escorted him to the trailhead where the Great Lion waited. The place where He had met so many young wolves in the past. He smiled as the pack approached. Happy. The pack sat upright in a semi-circle with the Great Lion in front. The young wolf sat beside his father. One by one each wolf came to the Great Lion. The eldest first with each following by age except for the father wolf. It was the order of things. Each wolf bowed before the Great Lion kissing His feet in homage and fealty. He in exchange nibbled their faces. They licked each other’s face and rubbed heads. He offered each the privilege of rubbing their faces in His mane. An honor offered only to friends. Each of the wolves delighted in the moment as did the Great Lion. No words were exchanged for none were needed. Then the father of the young wolf approached and paid his own respect bowing afterward before the Great Lion. The Great Lion leaned forward and spoke softly to the father wolf. The words were for him and him alone. Silent, the pack gazed upon the Great Lion and father wolf. It was a sacred moment. It was not for the others to hear, but they all knew the essence of it. “Thank you”. The father wolf returned to his place and spoke to his son. “Go. It is time. It is your time.” The young wolf came to the Great Lion. There was no fear. He bowed and for the first time kissed the feet of the Great Lion. The Great Lion tackled him much to the young wolf’s surprise and delight. They wrestled together. They played together as the pack smiled and howled in celebration of the moment. Each wolf remembering that same moment in their own life. Over the years, they had spoken of the Great Lion and of this day to the wolf cub. Yet, they had never spoken of the embrace. There are some things too sacred to put to words. Things that must be experienced. The Great Lion paused. It was the moment the pack had been waiting eagerly for. Their muscles tensed imperceptibly in preparation. The Great Lion looked up and roared. Without hesitation, the rest of the pack joined the play. It was the Gift of the Great Lion. His “thank you” to them all. Things that are sacred are to be celebrated together. After a while, the pack reformed the circle. The Great Lion spoke to the young wolf. “Come to me and sit beside me. There is one more thing that must be done before we set out.” Again, each wolf approached the Great Lion one by one as they did before. Only this time, it was to the young wolf that they came to pay homage and fealty and it was not in silence. To the young wolf, each spoke from the Law of the Jungle “the strength of the pack is the wolf.” The young wolf replied to each “the strength of the wolf is the pack.” The father wolf went last and said no more than the others. All that needed to be said had already been said. This was not a moment for them to be father and son for they were now brothers. Equals. The father wolf retook his place in the circle. Together, with the Great Lion, the pack recited the Law of the Jungle. Reiterating at the end “the strength of the pack is the wolf and the strength of the wolf is the pack.” The Great Lion turned to the young wolf and said, “Come, let us walk together” to which the young wolf responded, “Yes, let us walk together.” They turned and left leaving the pack. The young wolf never looked back. He understood. The pack lingered gazing upon the two as they strolled down the path. They waited in silence until they were far out of sight. It was a sacred moment. They returned to the den in silence filled with delight. There are some things too sacred to put to words.
Dear Young Wolf, you are no more the wolf cub. You are a part of the pack and always will be. There is a place in the pack that is yours and yours alone even when you are not present. In time, you will return to the pack as the wolf to later become the father wolf and then the elder wolf. One day the pack will escort you back to that same trailhead to meet once again the Great Lion, only you will not return. The Great Lion will take you to join the other elder wolves that have gone on before you. You will again be in the presence of those that brought you to the Great Lion as the young wolf. You will wait with them and the Great Lion to welcome the elder wolves that are to follow. The elder wolves that you yourself with the pack brought to the Great Lion in their youth. For now, though, the Great Lion needs your full and complete attention as a lonely young wolf seemingly alone. This is the way.
This time is for you and Him to become Father and son. It is time that you embrace the relationship with God that is your birthright as a son of God. The relationship with Him that He has long desired to welcome you into. Adam alone in the Garden with the Father without anyone else. Eve will not, should not, be present for she is not yet needed. Nor are you ready for her. Loneliness and aloneness are needed now. This time of being on your own, alone, is ordained by God.
Let this time of loneliness and aloneness be a time with your Father for that is their purpose. Acknowledge and embrace them. Invite Him into them to share them with you. Place them under His rule giving Him authority over them. Ask him to speak to you of them and why they are ordained. Use them to build intimacy with Him. Consecrate them. Both are sacred. It is for Him to reveal to you why they are sacred. Out of these things, He will make known to you that you are His son and that He is your Father. You will be the young wolf walking with the Great Lion.
I believe that career, marriage, and children make it difficult for a man to be alone with the Father. As a man progresses through life, the demands on his time increase. Each whittles away time available to be alone with God. Being single affords a young wolf with the opportunity to do as he pleases and go where he pleases. He is accountable to no one. He need not consider others. There is none to whom he must show deference. This is the gift of singleness. Granted, in your situation, you are married to the military. However, you still have more flexibility today than you would if you were in a relationship or married or a father. Use this time wisely. Use this time to come into the full depth and breadth of your relationship with your Father. I have concluded that everything is more about our relationship with God as a son of God than anything else. I believe that it is His heart’s desire that we experience the fullness of His creation as Father and son together. God and Adam as one. It is out of togetherness that he makes us to know what was upon His heart when He brought forth his creation. He desires us to experience His delight in His creation. His delight in us. His delight in others. However, it all arises from being a son. The Father loves the son and shares with him everything upon His heart. Let the son share with Him all that is upon his own heart. Even the loneliness and aloneness. It is to walk with the Great Lion. It is to be a son. A son of God.
Everything arises from being Father and son together. Everything. I believe that it is better to do nothing than to do it alone. I know that you have seen men race off to do something on their own. Alone. Unfortunately, you will see many more instances of this and the damage that inevitably follows. They are men but they are not sons. They have not walked with the Great Lion allowing Him to be a father to them. Their goal in life is to prove to themselves and to others that they have what it takes. They are shortsighted for the better goal is to be a son. In seeking to be a son, to live as a son, the questions upon a man’s heart will inevitably be answered. Answered in a deeply profound way such that there is nothing that needs to be proven to anyone, not even that the questions have been answered.
I have noticed in the past couple of months that I no longer need to prove that I have what it takes or that my own questions have been answered. Not to myself or anyone. I am at a place where I have experienced the answers at a very profound level. I have found that I am able to remove my need for validation from the equation and simply be. It has brought freedom to me and enables me to be a force for good. I am no longer using things to answer my questions or to prove that it has been answered. It is only possible because I myself and the Great Lion have walked together.
All of this has been born from a moment five years ago when I was challenged to pray every day for a year “How do you desire to father me today?”. It didn’t take a year. Everything has changed. Everything. Within a month of the challenge the moment came when He said, “This time is for you.” As time passed, I came to understand that He desired that He and I be alone. Father and son. Together. A mentor mentioned at one point that he had the feeling that he needed to stay away from me so as not to interfere with what God desired to do in my life. You know portions of this story, but you do not yet know the finer details. The finer details that led to the statement below. A statement born from being Adam alone in the Garden with the Father.
"Like the inscriptions upon the walls of a temple or engravings upon a sword, desires of His own heart have been etched upon each of our hearts. Desires that He has ordained that we experience with Him, together. They are precious. They are sacred. They are Holy. Some to be shared publicly. Some to be known by a select few. Some, whose full depth and breadth, to be known only by Father and child."
Your desire for another has been etched upon your own heart. He desires to experience your loneliness and aloneness. In allowing Him to do so, choosing to sit in both and not fulfill them on your own, you will come to be His son and know from experience that He is your Father.
The prayer is simple.
“Jesus, I invite you into this [desire, feeling, moment, etc.] and share it with you. I ask you and allow you to experience this [desire, feeling, moment etc.] with me. Make me to know your most intimate and blissful contact in this moment.”
Disclaimer: I’ll have specifics on the how of all of this in other posts. When I was your age, someone told me “you need to find your identity in Christ” without bothering to tell me how to do that.